Category Archives: Sozaboy

Who send una message?


You nor well, you hear me so? Olodo rabata. Over sabi! Aproko! Who send you message, I say who send you message? Only you go open mouth for here open mouth for dia dey yarn opata dey go dey make people run katikatikati up and down. Any small thing like this una don begin dey
yarn parapara like kenery wey chop too much pepper. Una nor hear say we dey do Sallah – una well done, I say una well done o, as una don
pour sansan for we garri finish.

Hello- hello – Ah ah – Zazu na you and who dey quarrel this kain early morning.

Oga abeg, give me one minute make I finish with this potoki wey nor sabi how we dey run shows for this country – Any small thing una don open mouth dey panic people. Tell me now wetin make you go dey tell people say make dem nor near three of our hotels for Abuja. You wan tell me say you nor know say na Transcorp be our White House? How you go feel if I begin spread rumour say make people nor stay hotel for Washington DC, you go like am? Wetin you wan tell the world, say my oga for security nor sabi anything? Which reason you get to think say im never arrange correct security for this hotel since three months ago wey bad belle people begin re-arrange area. Wetin you talk? Oya speak loud oyinbo make I hear you. Say wether na three months ago wahala start for Abuja wey e be say na only three months ago im begin send security go this hotel? Well for here, we nor dey take panadol wait for headache wey never come, until the headache don nearly remove man pikin head before we take panadol, so leave three-month matter alone jeje.

Zazu cool temper na and talk to me na. And who you dey blast like say e thief your girlfriend sef?

Oga I say leave me first, because this people dey always think say we nor sabi anything if you nor reply dem fire for fire – Yes, hear me well well, mosquito voice. Hear me o. Even if una mean good, una nor fit draw oga Azazi ear go one corner, say “Guy, we know say your parole tight for Abj, but e be like say major kasala wan break for three hotels o. Tell your guys say make dem hurry drink dia pepper soup and scram. All government dealings for dia suppose stop for the time been o and make you tighten your belt sha o, because badoskis nor
dey joke this time”.
Una just carry go dey broadcast for BBC, CNN, Ajazeera. Dey make our people panic for nothing. You hear say Abuja na Damaturu abi na Maiduguri?

So what if na Abuja UN building dey, where e suppose  dey before? Wetin you mean by una wan help us after many people don die for the
different bomb blast? Na so dem dey take help person for una country?
Dis na insult una use this warning insult us, and me and my ogas nor go take am sam sam. If una think say una go just dey put mouth for we matter like say we be fool for Abuja we nor sabi anything, we too go open our mouth like apere – make we true true see who be bladdey fool.

Zazu my guy, e don do na – I never hear you quarrel like this before and my credit wan finish o.

Oga nor worry I go call you back, if I nor tell this people my mind, next time dem go carry another rumour like say Abuja na Faluja, abi
dem think say na Libya we dey.
Yes, I still dey talk to you, Mr. long nose and thin mouth. You never tell me wetin concern you for we security matter wey you begin release press release up and down like say na una be our National Security Adviser. Abeg make una leave us jeje o, even if wahala dey gather make e burst first before we know wetin to do. Because if this kain yarning wey una dey yarn to fall my oga hand for this security matter nor pure for our regime atall atall, una wan pour sansan for boys garri o.  I don talk my own o, because if we nor give you visa tomorrow, nor vex o. Bye bye.

Ehen, oga sorry – abeg I don come back. Na this American people wey dey spread one kain rumor say make people nor near some hotels for Abuja say e nor dey safe I dey yarn with. You talk say you dey Abuja abi, naim be say we go see na? Where you dey?

Zazu I dey for Transcorp Hilton, na one man wey dey owe me money book room for me for here say im go come meet me later.

Oga you dey where?! Nor be me and you o. I nor dey come near any hotel o, I dey for one hut for Gwagwalada dey hide o.   Nobody dey go near those hotels o, abi you nor read or hear news say America say make everybody arrange themselves? Na you sabi o, when you comot for dia,
make you let me know.

But Zazu, I just hear you now dey quarrel over the matter say na lie na?

Oga me you funny o. I just dey do my job nor mean say I nor get sense to understand advise o. Na you sabi, me I don talk say I nor dey come
near any hotel.